I’m on Cloud Nine. Or rather, Cloud Nine Creative’s website, gathering some last-minute facts for an article I’m writing about the multimedia company for an upcoming magazine article. For the past couple of hours I’ve been reading two issues of WedLuxe, their luxury wedding magazine sold throughout Canada. I went to bed day-dreaming of fairy tales, Prince Charming, and honeymoons. Visions of Vera Wang gowns, pint-size ring-bearers clad in Perry Ellis, Swarovski crystals, and Thailand retreats spun in my head. But I didn’t fall asleep. I couldn’t fall asleep.
I lay there with words ringing in my ears: decadent, artisan, haute couture. I lay there remembering my wedding. Not so luxe. Not so long ago. And no so lasting.
No Carmela Sutera gown for me. I wore one from JCPenny’s — a pretty white prom dress, in fact, that I returned with the receipt for a refund afterwards. The ceremony? I left the planning to my then husband-to-be, who arranged for us to walk down the aisle to a Smashing Pumpkins song at his home church in Kokomo, Indiana. (His uncle forgot to press play.) Our reception was held in the church basement with folding chairs and paper tablecloths. We dined on cheese chunks and grapes and opened K-Mart presents from selfless relatives who could barely afford to pay their trailer park rent. The cake we froze to eat on our first anniversary got thrown out.
In the premiere issue of WedLuxe, editor-in-chief Angela Desveaux waxes poetic on what a luxury is, exactly. She says, “Depending on who you ask, luxury can be defined in many ways. Some will describe objects of opulence while others speak of intangible qualities like time, passion and excellence.”
Since my wedding eight years ago, I’ve come to appreciate the fine details involved in wedding celebrations, in large part thanks to EventDV magazine, a publication I became involved with as a result of my background in film/video and writing. I was thrust into the world of weddings — a world I didn’t belong in but now feel, in some small way, a part of. I’ve come to know many of the North American players in the wedding world — filmmakers, in particular, who make art films that would blow you away. I’ve begun to see what all the fuss is about.
But as for opulence, it’s something I write about, not experience. Unless of course you subscribe to Desveaux’s second interpretation of luxury. After a $10K custody battle and half a decade of heartache, I am surrounded by those intangible luxuries she speaks of. Not just my darling daughter, but also my ex-husband, whose closeness to us is remarkable. Unconventional family unit, yes. But we vacation together, cook together, laugh together, and love our daughter together. Today he watched the Packer game with Granny as I worked. He made her dinner, and dessert.
Our Edy’s ice cream with Hershey’s syrup may not hold a candle to a monogrammed cake created by a world-renowned pastry chef, but the warmth in this broken family is felt. It is nearly tangible, and as I prepare to try yet again to fall asleep tonight, dabbing the liquid one of my dogs just vomited on the carpet with Brawny, I feel blessed. I feel like I am on cloud nine.
